I have never had any desire to be a stay at home. Well, that is not entirely true, during the eight weeks that I stayed at home with my girls after they were born, I wished I had the option to stay home with them for a while longer. But, for as long as I can remember, my M-F consisted of dropping the kids off and heading off to work. I don’t think you realize just how much you miss (luckily or unluckily, when you work outside the home.
Nothing could have prepared me for the changes that were to lie ahead of me. I think that adjusting to any kind of change can have its twists and turns. I think at first, I believed that this was definitely a temporary thing, I expected to be back to work in a matter of days at the most weeks. I had read all the accounts about what a mess the economy was in and just how hard it was to find something. Naturally, I didn’t think that this would be my predicament.
But, I didn’t realize how many things factor into finding a new job. I had been with the same company for twelve years, and had managed to move up through the ranks. First, there was location, distance from home, gas and salary requirements. I learned I was making downtown pay, in a rural area. So in order to make what I was making in a place where I would want to work, I would have to drive downtown battle Atlanta traffic and then not make it home to my kids before 7.
So after going on several interviews and being frustrated by either the pay or the distance. I decided to take a break. My daughter’s eighth birthday party was fast approaching and the holiday season kept me pretty busy. We had an amazing “memory worthy” Christmas. Just like the ones I used to dream of having time to create. And, I was pleased.
But, on the other side of that just like after a wedding is the let down, as I packed up the Christmas decorations. I guess I packed up 2012 and with 2013 came the need for a new plan. It was time for me to go back to work. So, as I spend my days sending out applications and resumes, and scouring every possible job search board I can find. I also find myself feeling like maybe I need to find a way to become acclimated to my role here at home. I guess in a way I have felt like this is not my life, when in fact it is, whether it is for two more days or two more years. ( I hope its not that long.)
Transitioning and Acceptance go hand in hand, but how do you manage to do both at the same time?
Note: After reading this over, I felt like I should mention just how blessed I am to have a husband who can adequately provide for us, while I muddle my way through all of this.
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We have gone trough a lot of changes over the last few months with more on the way. I wont lie it is hard but, you can handle what ever life throws at you. Find a few minutes to yourself, take a few deap breaths, then take advantage of this new adventure.
Time for myself, well, I am still working on that time. I just have to figure out how to accomplish all I have to do and take some time for me. Thanks for your comment.
I totally understand – I was not meant to be a stay at home mom either. I wish I had it in me, but I just don’t. Ironically, I do stay at home, but I work from home. The kids go to school and then I’m here for them when they come home, yes, it means less work time, but I own my own business so luckily I make the schedule 😉
Good luck on your search! I’m sure you’ll find something that fits perfectly for you and your family.
Ultimately, I would love to do just that. But, I am still in the early stages and getting things off the ground. Thanks for your comment.
Like you I am currently looking to reenter the job force, and also like you, I am fortunate to have a working husband who can help us make ends meet until I can make a job a reality. It is aggravating not being able to find a job, but I tell myself that being home with my kids is only for the best right now. I mean, I don’t think there is a negative to being there with your kids, but I also think that because I’m conflicted about my kids going to daycare. If they were a bit older and in school,(my 4 year old is in preK but only for 2 1/2 hours a day), I think I’d feel better about going back to work. As it is though, we are just squeaking by with our bills, and even a part-time job would be helpful, but if I don’t find a job, it is meant to be that we squeak by a little bit longer!
I understand. My little ones were very sickly while in daycare, that is definitely the good thing about being home and being able to somewhat control what germs they come in contact with. My little one will be 3 in a couple of months, and hopefully will be ready for Pre-K. I hope that you find something soon. Thanks for your comment.
My husband had a commute that made his work day extend from 7 am to 6 pm. Then he was laid off. It was impossible for him to earn the same amount at a job in our area. We were both glad the commuting was over, though.
I have chosen to stay at home, but it wears on me at times, too. That’s when I look down at these little faces, demanding my attention yet again, and remind myself that they will not be little for very long. I sometimes have to intentionally enjoy the little one hogging my lap or getting sticky stuff all over my pant legs, because one day they will be too big to do those things, and I know I’ll miss looking down at little eyes peering up from near my knees, grubby hands grabbing at the air with the request of “Uh, uh!”
I love your perspective it certainly made me thing about the upside to things. Continue to enjoy your little ones. Thanks for the comments!!
I can completely relate. I worked through most of my pregnancy. There are days now when I want to go back to work, but I think it has to do more with having grown up conversations and joining the real world, vs. being away from my son. I struggled in the beginning with what to do. I have always worked and been able to support myself. In the end, I truly am loving the time I get to spend with my son.
The time with the kids is really amazing. And, I definitely relate to the need for adult conversation. Enjoy it and thanks for your comment!!
It’s hard, making the transition from working gal to staying home. I left my job of more than 10 years to relocate for my husband’s job. It was a tough transition. The area that we’re in doesn’t pay well – it would cost me more money in childcare expenses then what I’d make if I were to return to work. Sadly, my husband was laid off this morning, so I may be going back to work a bit sooner than I expected.
I hope that the job hunt goes well, and so sorry about your husbands lay off. I am sure it will be a big change for him as well. Thanks so much for the reply.
Those seasons in life are sometimes hard but they’re packed with lessons for us to learn from. I hope you find peace with the decisions you make and remember the light at the end of the tunnel is always there. 🙂
I am holding on to that, all things work together for good, and all that. Thanks for the comment.
Transitions can be challenging, that’s for sure. I’m in my 15th year now of being at home and I never really thought that’s what I would be doing either. But the Lord’s plans are not always my plans and He’s taken me (us) on an incredible journey since we made the decision that I would stay home. There are still days when I miss going to work outside the home, but I know I’m where I’m supposed to be. I guess the best thing I can say is an old saying: “Bloom where you’re planted.” It’s not easy, but it sure helps in transitioning. Right now my transition is stepping out into a different career I can do from home. Change is hard – but exciting too!
I love that, “Bloom where you’re planted.” I am sure I heard this before but, I still printed it and put it on my bulletin board. Thanks for your comment.
I was in college when I found out I was pregnant, so I didn’t have the true working to staying home transition. Some days I don’t feel like I am cut out to be a stay at home mom. I do work from home though, and I think that makes the challenge even harder at times!
As others have said, my son won’t be little for long, so I cherish the moments I have at home with him, even if it means I’ll be up late getting work done!
Good luck on your job search…I’m not too far from you, just an hour north of ATL! 🙂
If you don’t mind my asking is your working from home, your blog? Thanks for your comment.
I had the opposite problem when I transitioned from stay at home mom to work away from home mom. I loved my coworkers but I hated missing everything my little guys were learning. I knew it was the best for our family at the time and made the most of the little time I did have with the kids. I was thrilled when our family got to a point where I could stay home again.
I am sure I will experience some of that as well.
Transition and acceptance. Isn’t that a good definition of motherhood. Motherhood is a constant transition from one stage of life to the next. Once you get acclimated to the new stage, it’s time for something new. There is constant letting go and embracing new. Sometimes letting go is a relief (like no more diapers–I’m still waiting on that one from my youngest. Can you tell I am ready for that!) Sometimes it is a ripping of your heart–like the last time nursing (I miss those special times). If you feel crazy, it’s just the reality of transition. For mothers, in the home or not, change is the rhythm of life.
Acceptance is a resting of the soul. As you wrestle through it, I hope you will come to a place of peace and rest.
We all go through our stages and I’ve been looking for that right JOB for years. LOL! I work on the weekends now so I can deal with all that happens with the kids during the week. Money is nice and yes every month we wonder if we are doing the right thing but for us yes we are. You will find your balance and knowing what it takes to make it happen. Good luck in your journey.
I hope to find that balance too.
I always worked part time when my kids were little. (They are now teenagers) I felt like I had the best of both worlds. Everyone needs to do what works for them. Thanks for sharing.
I had originally thought that I would have a family, and work as a public school music teacher. I even attempted to go to college for a few years. But God had other plans. I am very happy to be a wife and mother who runs a music studio from my home, homeschools, as well as trying to set up a solid Avon customer base and letting people know about Young Living Oils essential oils. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
But there was some changes and adjustments that I needed to make. Like the fact that YES I COULD teach my kids and realizing that I loved it, and I loved giving private music lessons much more than I’d ever love standing in front of a classroom full of music students and spending so much of my day away from my family. And my best friend likes to work, mostly, though if she could I think she would choose to stay home as well. So I get to not only homeschool and care for MY kids but I get to care for her now one year old son and homeschool her three older kids too! So my home is jam packed with the sound of kids several days a week!
All things in their season, and there is a season for everything! My prayer for you is that the Lord would lead you to what His will would be, and lead you to joy in that! Blessings as you walk out whatever that may include! <3