Lately, I have been in a funk. I am still figuring out exactly why that is. But, I think part of the reasoning behind my mood is the “Janky” State of Affairs in the World. There used to be a time when I felt like I could safely tell my children that if they carried themselves with integrity and pride, that they could expect to be treated with respect and dignity. But, those days seem to have come and gone. Honestly, I suppose that I was a bit naive to have believed that in the first place. But, there is something generally unsettling about being shaken out of your comfort zone. The job of every Mom is to be able to protect their children, while molding and shaping them, or at the very least directing them in their pursuits. But, as an African American Mom raising African American kids these basic desires are not as clean cut as you think.
Over the last 5+, I have sat on my bed or on my couch or in my car and listened in horror to countless accounts of individuals being slaughtered and murdered for no other reason than that they happened to be black. A gift that I gave my children, meaning my inherit blackness was passed on to my babies. Trayvon Martin, Philando Castile, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Alton B. Sterling and Sandra Bland, just to name a few. And that is terrifying. As I sit here typing this with tears rolling down my cheeks. I find myself feeling both fearful and inadequate, because ultimately I do not have what I need to do the most important job that I have been given.
As if that was not more than enough, Gun Violence continues to rise, the Me Too Movement has made its way to the forefront, and both the present administration and those running for office have resorted to using fear as a means of persuation. It seems as though no one is required to stand in their truth anymore. How do I teach accountability to my chidren in a world where there seems to be so little? Once I manage to move past that immobilizing feeling. I remember that in times of uncertainty, I truly only have one thing that I can depend on and in my case it’s my faith.
Growing up in the church, and in a very religious household, I often heard my Mom call on Jesus in times when no one and nothing else could help. I believe that she provided me with the foundation on which to develop my own personal relationship with Christ. And for that I thank her. Now, that I have children of my own, I hope to instill in them the same value system that she instilled in me. I know that I will not always be able to protect them from the evils of the world, but I hope that they will remember the devotions that we read together, and the prayers we said over problems big and small. I hope that their strength will come from the original Author and Finisher and they will know that “All Things Work Together For Them That Love The Lord.” If I am honest, I will admit that my walk with Christ is forever changing. I am always in pursuit of stronger relationship and a deeper understanding.
In my own personal valleys, and when I feel myself sinking into depression or even having a Crisis of Faith, these are my Go Tos.
The Bible /Devotions: I will probably pick up a Devotional book before I pick up the Bible. Don’t kill me, I know a lot of people will not want to hear that. But, I find it simpler to read and digest and it always directs me to verses in the bible that I may not have ever considered. I have often been able to bring to remembrance a scripture that would remind me of the promises that God gave to me. And without a doubt, it can serve to put my mind at ease.
Music: If you have been following this blog for a while, then you know that I love my music. Music soothes my soul, on so many different levels. It refocuses me, it brings my peace, it stirs my spirit in a way that nothing else can. And, although I do love Contemporary Gospel. Old Time Hymns often take me back to just where I need to go. This is one of my favorites. If you have never heard of it, it’s worth a listen on YouTube.
“My Hope is Built on Nothing Less”
by Edward Mote, 1797-1874
1. My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.
2. When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.
3. His oath, His covenant, and blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When every earthly prop gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.
4. When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found,
Clothed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne!
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand. Source:
Lastly, The Fellowship of Like Minded People: Let me explain, we all know that misery likes company. It is the easiest thing in the world to find someone to commiserate on your frustration and your justifiable right to be miffed and unsettled. These people very rarely offer solutions. They offer fuel to a fire that ultimately needs to be extinguished. They help you to fall further into an abyss. Never reminding you that there is hope. I won’t say that it is their intention, but likely they don’t know enough to send you down the right path. But, someone who seeks to live in truth and light will often be more likely to try to lift you out of your “sunken place”, instead of contribute to it. Find you some folks like that. That I can guarantee, you will not regret.
FAITH IS LIKE WI-FI, IT HAS THE POWER TO CONNECT YOU TO WHAT YOU NEED.
