Every child is different. I think sometimes we base our parenting styles and decisions on how things worked the first time around, or how our parent’s raised us. I have three children and they couldn’t be more different. Growing up, I remember thinking that my sister had it so much easier, because I had already gone through all of the hard things. And, that my mom favored her over me, which.. well I am still not sure that isn’t entirely true, lol. But… now that I have children of my own I know that what worked for one of them wouldn’t necessarily work for the other.
There is no such thing as the perfect parent. Even though it is what we all aspire to be, we would save ourselves so much time right out of the gate, by acknowledging from the very beginning that we are human, and therefore flawed. There will be times when you have to say you are sorry. You will not always be right. You are charged with shaping these little lives that have been entrusted to you, but try as you might you can’t mold them into your own image. (Trust me I’ve tried, lol)
Quality and Quantity. I know you probably thought I was going to say Quality over Quantity. But Nope. Here’s is my reasoning you are probably never going to be able to please everyone see #1. And, even though you will most likely try to find things that everyone is interested in and or try to give them as much one on one time, as possible. That simply may not be the way that they remember it. So do you best to spend as much time as you can, whenever you can. And hope that it is enough.
Routine. Routine is the key to any well oiled machine. Bed times, chores, expectations, etc. As I mentioned before, I thought my parents were too strict. But, the thing about it is that looking back I see now that knowing what was expected of me and how I was to conduct myself played a large part in shaping me. I can see now that a lot of the heartache that my friends went through I was lucky enough not to have experienced, because I simply didn’t live that life.
Enjoy it. I will be the first one to tell you that parenthood is NO WALK IN THE PARK. You love your babies and you can’t imagine life without them. But, sometimes you do. You imagine what it would be like to pull your hands through you hair, throw on some bright red lipstick and skinny jeans and just jump in the car heading off to God knows where and for God knows what reason. But, you know those days are over. So once you are back from your pity party. Make sure to enjoy these days. One day you will miss it. Since my oldest is 20 and my youngest is 6, I have a unique vantage point. I can see the other side while still in the trenches.
Document your days. This is a controversial one for some people, because if you are snapping pictures then maybe you aren’t present. I guess I have mixed feelings about this, because I see things from behind a lens that I am not sure I would notice otherwise. Or maybe it’s that the things that I see make me want to pull out my camera to preserve the memory. Like taking my daughters to the beach last year, and watching their faces so go from fear, to fun, to frolicking. It was amazing to sit there and watch them grow before my eyes. To me, it’s equally amazing to look back on those pictures and remember that day with joy in my heart. I think I have always taken a lot of pictures, but when my son was little there were no iPhone’s and such, so there are way less pics of him than of the girls, and it is one of my biggest regrets.
We Time and Me Time are a necessity. Before they came, it was just the two of you. And, before you became the two of you, it was just you. Every relationship needs cultivation, even the ones we have with ourselves. And, I believe this with all my heart. If you are depleted at some time in some way, it is going to come out. I am lucky enough to have my parents close by and when I need a break they are more than happy to afford us that luxury. But, even if you don’t have a support system close by, little things mean a lot. Can you both get off work for a couple of hours while the kids are at school, for lunch or for a movie or both? Can you schedule a babysitter, and make a night of it? Or maybe you just need the peace and quiet, or solitude of a massage, or mani-pedi appointment. Figure out what feeds your spirit and your soul and do that, make time for that.
“TODAY’S LITTLE MOMENTS, BECOME TOMORROW’S PRECIOUS MEMORIES.”
