As a Mom and even as a wife, there is definitely a line of demarcation in the sand. You want your family to be independent, but you also want them to need you. You want your children to be able to enjoy their childhoods as much as is possible, but you also want to teach them a sense of responsibility and accountability. What falls into the arena of things that they should be responsible for and what are things that I should be responsible for? And, like most things that come with raising kids, there is no manual. We are left mostly to our own devices.
With my oldest, I held his hand way longer than I should have probably. But, I blame that on the fact that he was an only child for almost 9 years. Rounding the second trimester of my second pregnancy, I realized that I couldn’t possible take on the responsibility of being a new Mom, and continue to hold his hand too. So, we went through a crash course on things he could do himself. To my surprise, and probably my relief, he already could do most of the things that I had been doing for him, but wasn’t, simply because I was doing it.
Fast forward 9 more years, and that little baby I was pregnant with is now 9 years old. And, I find myself in a similar predicament. Except there are other existing variables. 1. I have a 4 year old, who I think was born independent. 2. My oldest daughter has an significant speech delay Because she had such a challenging road ahead of her, I again I did most of the things that she should have started doing earlier.
But, now that we are coming up on the other side of her circumstances, I find that we are constantly having to remind her to do things, she should know how to do already. I even think she has gone backwards a bit, because Mom always swooped in and saved the day.
I know.. I know.. Bad Mommy. Hubby and I have had to stay on both girls to make sure that they keep their rooms cleaned, do their chores, don’t leave their things all over the house, etc., etc.
All of this had me thinking about exactly what kind of children I want to raise. So, I started doing some research talking to other Mothers that I admire, Mothers whose children have succeeded in life and excelled, and even Mothers who gave their all and had their kids go left instead of right. I was shocked at what I learned, or at the very least humbled. Over the next couple of weeks, I will share those findings, books, printables, and conversations that I have had. Hope you all will let me know what you think of my findings, what wisdom you want to impart to your own kids, and what worked for you, and even what didn’t.