I have never had any desire to be a stay at home. Well, that is not entirely true, during the eight weeks that I stayed at home with my girls after they were born, I wished I had the option to stay home with them for a while longer. But, for as long as I can remember, my M-F consisted of dropping the kids off and heading off to work. I don’t think you realize just how much you miss (luckily or unluckily, when you work outside the home.
Nothing could have prepared me for the changes that were to lie ahead of me. I think that adjusting to any kind of change can have its twists and turns. I think at first, I believed that this was definitely a temporary thing, I expected to be back to work in a matter of days at the most weeks. I had read all the accounts about what a mess the economy was in and just how hard it was to find something. Naturally, I didn’t think that this would be my predicament.
But, I didn’t realize how many things factor into finding a new job. I had been with the same company for twelve years, and had managed to move up through the ranks. First, there was location, distance from home, gas and salary requirements. I learned I was making downtown pay, in a rural area. So in order to make what I was making in a place where I would want to work, I would have to drive downtown battle Atlanta traffic and then not make it home to my kids before 7.
So after going on several interviews and being frustrated by either the pay or the distance. I decided to take a break. My daughter’s eighth birthday party was fast approaching and the holiday season kept me pretty busy. We had an amazing “memory worthy” Christmas. Just like the ones I used to dream of having time to create. And, I was pleased.
But, on the other side of that just like after a wedding is the let down, as I packed up the Christmas decorations. I guess I packed up 2012 and with 2013 came the need for a new plan. It was time for me to go back to work. So, as I spend my days sending out applications and resumes, and scouring every possible job search board I can find. I also find myself feeling like maybe I need to find a way to become acclimated to my role here at home. I guess in a way I have felt like this is not my life, when in fact it is, whether it is for two more days or two more years. ( I hope its not that long.)
Transitioning and Acceptance go hand in hand, but how do you manage to do both at the same time?
Note: After reading this over, I felt like I should mention just how blessed I am to have a husband who can adequately provide for us, while I muddle my way through all of this.
