Monthly Archives: May 2014

Roots and Wings ….

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PARENTING IS SUCH A DEEPLY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.

If you want to see a Mom or Dad lose it, call into questions their methods.  Challenge their ability to parent effectively or even blame them for their child’s shortcomings, and you are almost sure to get a less than pleasurable response.

Parenting Quote - Roots and Wings

Photo Source: Pinterest

 

Roots:

plural noun: roots 

1.  the part of a plant that attaches it to the ground or to a support, typically underground, conveying water and nourishment to the rest of the plant via numerous branches and fibers.

2.  the basic cause, source, or origin of something.

Wings:

plural noun: wings

1.  any number of specialized paired appendages that enable some animals to fly in particular.

2.  a rigid horizontal structure that projects from both sides of an aircraft and supports it in the air.

So when it  comes to our little people, what exactly constitutes roots.  I have always thought that had something to do with teaching them to be grounded.  As well as teaching them about their history and their heritage.

Wings, I see wings as providing them with the tools necessary to be successful, compassionate, loving and empathetic humans.

The fact of the matter is that (at jumping off point), most of us have a general idea of what kind of child we want to raise.  After all we have had 9 months to think on it.  We’ve tried our hardest to diligently plan every detail.  If you are like me (a lil anal retentive), you created a Excel Spreadsheet with every item you thought your lovejoy could possibly need and you checked off each item.  You packed your bags and waited for what you were sure would be a Chart Stopper of a day and it was!!  You bring your lovejoy home only to realize, well he’s not all that lovable or joyous, lol.  He’s got colic, wants to be held all the time, and came out  all Type A and demanding your attention all the time.  Which maybe wouldn’t be so bad, if you didn’t have two other kids on deck.

Fast Forward through some years and you’ve managed to get a General Ebb and Flow, you’ve found a way to cater to all the little and BIG personalities in your home.

And, you finally learn that:

1.  EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT.

2. TO PARENT THE CHILD YOU’VE GOT AND NOT THE ONE YOU WANTED.

3. AND MAYBE BY NOW YOU’VE LEARNED THEIR INDIVIDUAL LOVE LANGUAGES.

You think you are finally getting this Insane Ride of Motherhood Down Pat.  You’ve got Square Pegs – Fitting Into Circle Holes.  You are rocking the Hell out of Life.  Only to Realize…. You are Just Getting Started.

What’s on your Soundtrack?

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1What’s on The Soundtrack to your life? For as long as I can remember, even as a little child music has literally carried me from one stage of my life to the next. It has helped me to grieve, heal and even triumph. Sometimes I feel like it was even God’s way of speaking to me, when I refused to hear his voice any other way.

When my now nine year old started school we employed a “Theme Song”, of sorts, I read that it would help transition her into her day. And, it did, even on days when she didn’t feel like going to school. It seemed to calm her spirit.  Now, at nine, she has a love for music that parallels my own.

Some mornings when I need a little more than my beloved cup of coffee to start my day, I need a little Earth Wind and Fire to get me in gear.

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Or when I need some motivation for the day  I need a little Go Get It by Mary Mary

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And, when I need some help to get moving while Exercising… I still love Upgrade Me by Beyonce…

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What songs move you like no other??

 

 

 

Does Reality Mirror the Dream??

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dreams-reality-d-citylife

 

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Nothing that anyone says, Mom included, prepares you for family life.

We all watched those scenes in “Brown Sugar”, one of my favorite Urban Classics, where Nicole Ari Parker and Taye Diggs work around each other in the kitchen with their perfectly coiffed hair and custom made suits as they head off to their perfect jobs in their perfect worlds.  And, even though that was a close to perfection as they got in that movie.   I remember looking forward to making my hubby breakfast, and also to being served breakfast in bed.  And, even though we had our share of Just the Two of Us moments, fast forward 5 years and the landscape of our lives have changed immensely. [To be fair — they had no children.]

brown sugar

That huge bathroom with the garden tub, that was oh so “spa like”,  is now reminiscent of a scene out of Romper Room.  I mean, duh, everyone knows that a Garden Tub is the ideal place to give your little one’s a bath.  The Perfect Master Bedroom with the sitting room, has become the Master Bedroom with my Pseudo Office, as well as my Toddler’s new Abode, where her Toddler Bed has made its permanent home. [Mind you, home girl has the biggest bedroom in the house outside of ours, with all her own perfect furniture, and walk in closet.]

The Dining Room Set that I dreamed of sits proudly in my Dining Room, set to “NINES”, and no one ever eats there, except on Holidays and Special Occasions.  And, sometimes, shhh…. don’t tell anyone it has fabric on it.(hey, it makes a perfect stage for Instagram Pics, lol).

The Formal Living Room with my white leather couch, that no one sits on.  Has become the backdrop for all the pillows in our Etsy Store.  As well as a Pillow Warehouse, who knew the room could have so many uses.

The most frequented rooms in the house aside from our bedrooms are the Family Room and the Kitchen.  I guess that’s a good thing, since when we are in those rooms we are generally all together…

So does the Reality in any way Mirror the Dream… not even a little bit.  That being said, would I change a thing?  As a matter of fact, I would,  I have a constant laundry list of things (running in my head) of things I would change and do this way or that.  But, the fact of the matter  is that we are immensely blessed.   Could I use Weekly Date Nights? Yep. Could I use a Full Time Cook, who could make Diabetes Friendly Three Course Meals?  Yep. Could I use more Spa Days, and time with my girls(not the little ones), sure who couldn’t but…..

C’est La Vie!!