Celebrating Yourself and the Ones You Love
Recently, I read a blog entitled: The One Reason Why I Won’t Apologize For Being A Pinterest Mom (link found here). I immediately knew that I would have to read it, because… well, it had Pinterest in the title. I had no idea that this post would speak to me on so many levels.
I hope that you will read the article for yourself. But, I will share a quote from the article, she writes: “I constantly downplay my creative efforts in an attempt to protect other people’s feelings. But I’m sick of pretending like my creations are no big deal, when in fact they do take a considerable amount of time and effort. My desire to make things shouldn’t make other women feel bad, mainly because my choices aren’t a reflection of theirs.”
I am by no means a Pinterest Mom, or at least I don’t think I have earned that title yet. But, I love what I love. I love to decorate my home, or plan fun adventures for my kids and my husband. I like to do things big and celebrate everything from the First Day of School to the Beginning of Summer. I have been called “extra” and falsely praised. For example: That looks great, I wish I had the time to do this and that.. or girl you are too much. And, after operating in the shadows for some time, I too decided to declare that I will no longer downplay what I love or what I do, because others do not get it. After all it’s my dream/vision, you are not required to understand. I hate the idea that any of us ever feels the need to downplay the things that make us happy in attempt to spare the feelings of another person. I am all for being sympathetic and displaying empathy when needed. But, often I feel like we choose not celebrate because we fear how it may come off.
It brings to mind this quote by Marianne Williamson.
” Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I recently had a conversation with a good friend of mine, about the fact that we have never been in the same place at the same time. I had my first child long before she joined the motherhood ranks. When she was settling into married life, I was still searching for the one. While I was planning my wedding, she was preparing for baby number two. But, somehow despite the huge disparities in our lives we managed to celebrate each other right where we were. There were times when we each wished we were in the other’s shoes and we even voiced those opinions. Because we are honest with each other that way, but we were still able to find joy in the other person’s experience, and even offer advice when needed.
I have come to realize that in each stage of life, different things have different levels of importance. When you are single your girlfriends are the most important thing in the world, when you start dating that changes. When you get married that changes again, you focus more on your partner. Then the babies come and your focus switches yet again. Life is forever changing, and believe it or not, one day the things that you found trivial, may be more important than you could ever have imagined.
“In order to have friends, you must first be one.” – Elbert Hubbard
It is the easiest thing in the world to go through life only being concerned about what is important to you. Dare I say, it may be second nature. But, I am not sure how far it will get you, when it comes to forging meaningful and long lasting friendships. Everybody loves their Mother, their husband, their children, their career, etc. etc., I am simplifying here. But, if you want people to take an interest in the things that are important to you, take an interest in the things that are important to them. Don’t expect any more than you are willing to give in return.
In 2016, one of my goals is to “show myself friendly.” I hope that you will join in me in making a special effort to celebrate the important people in your life and the things that have meaning to them.