Category Archives: Words to Live By

Little Chores List

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GRAB YOUR FREE LITTLE CHORES PRINTABLE, TODAY!!Little Chores List

If you are like me and just starting to adjust to this New Normal, then you know that in the midst of the Coronavirus Pandemic life does not stand still.  There is still work to be done, children to be raised, a house to take care of, etc.  Today, marks the third week of me working  from home, and my girls having digital learning classes.  The adjustment was real for all of us.  And, even though I feel like we were a little more settled last week(week two), I also feel like a lot of things were left undone.  And, in the face of everything going on that just left me feeling more uneasy than I already was.  So, I vowed to start this week with a bit more direction, and being the list person that I am, I created this Free Printable Little Chores List to prevent things from being left behind, or at the very list to give me a jumping off point.

Now being part of the Planner Girl Community for as long as I have been, I know that I am not the only list person out there.  So, I thought I would share this for the other Moms that are struggling to keep it all together in the face of a very scary situation.  Grab Yours Be Clicking Here Today. Right Click – Save As And It’s Yours To Use.

I have been reading and watching everything I can get my hands on as it regards to the corona-virus, and well… I can’t tell you if I am more confused or less confused than when I started out, because there is so much conflicting information out there.  However, I have been very deliberate in what I share with my girls. I want them to understand the gravity of the situation, but I also do not want them living in the head space that their Mom is currently living in.  I found these two articles to be helpful and thought I would share them on how to  manage fears and anxiety and how to talk to our children about it.

Hope these help to ease your mind a bit.

Keeping The Faith in Uncertain Times

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Keeping The Faith In Uncertain Times

Lately, I have been in a funk.  I am still figuring out exactly why that is.  But, I think part of the reasoning behind my mood is the “Janky” State of Affairs in  the World.  There used to be a time when I felt like I could safely tell my children that if they carried themselves with integrity and pride, that they could expect to be treated with respect and dignity.  But, those days seem to have come and gone.  Honestly, I suppose that I was a bit naive to have believed that in the first place.  But, there is something generally unsettling about being shaken out of your comfort zone.   The job of every Mom is to be able to protect their children, while molding and shaping them, or at the very least directing them in their pursuits.  But, as an African American Mom raising African American kids these basic desires are not as clean cut as you think.

Over the last 5+, I have sat on my bed or on my couch or in my car and listened in horror to countless accounts of individuals being slaughtered and murdered for no other reason than that they happened to be black.  A gift that I gave my children, meaning my inherit blackness was passed on to my babies. Trayvon Martin, Philando Castile, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Alton B. Sterling and Sandra Bland, just to name a few.   And that is terrifying.  As I sit here typing this with tears rolling down my cheeks.  I find myself feeling both fearful and inadequate, because ultimately I do not have what I need to do the most important job that I have been given.

As if that was not more than enough, Gun Violence continues to rise, the Me Too Movement has made its way to the forefront, and both the present administration and those running for office have resorted to using fear as a means of persuation.  It seems as though no one is required to stand in their truth anymore.  How do I teach accountability to my chidren in a world where there seems to be so little?  Once I manage to move past that immobilizing feeling.  I remember that in times of uncertainty, I truly only have one thing that I can depend on and in my case it’s my faith.

Growing up in the church, and in a very religious household, I often heard my Mom call on Jesus in times when no one and nothing else could help.  I believe that she provided me with the foundation on which to develop my own personal relationship with Christ.  And for that I thank her.  Now, that I have children of my own, I hope to instill in them the same value system that she instilled in me.  I know that I will not always be able to protect them from the evils of the world, but I hope that they will remember the devotions that we read together, and the prayers we said over problems big and small.  I hope that their strength will come from the original Author and Finisher and they will know that “All Things Work Together For Them That Love The Lord.”  If I am honest, I will admit that my walk with Christ is forever changing.  I am always in pursuit of  stronger relationship and a deeper understanding.

In my own personal valleys, and when I feel myself sinking into depression or even having  a Crisis of Faith, these are my Go Tos.

The Bible /Devotions:  I will probably pick up a Devotional book before I pick up the Bible.  Don’t kill me, I know a lot of people will not want to hear that.  But, I find it simpler to read and digest and it always directs me to verses in the bible that I may not have ever considered. I have often been able to bring to remembrance a scripture that would remind me of the promises that God gave to me.  And without a doubt, it can serve to put my mind at ease.

Music:  If you have been following this blog for a while, then you know that I love my music.  Music soothes my soul, on so many different levels.  It refocuses me, it brings my peace, it stirs my spirit in a way that nothing else can.  And, although I do love Contemporary Gospel.  Old Time Hymns often take me back to just where I need to go. This is one of my favorites.  If you have never heard of it, it’s worth a listen on YouTube.

“My Hope is Built on Nothing Less”
by Edward Mote, 1797-1874

1. My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

2. When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

3. His oath, His covenant, and blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When every earthly prop gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

4. When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found,
Clothed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne!
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.  Source:

Lastly, The Fellowship of Like Minded People:  Let me explain, we all know that misery likes company.  It is the easiest thing in the world to find someone to commiserate on your frustration and your justifiable right to be miffed and unsettled.  These people very rarely offer solutions.  They offer fuel to a fire that ultimately needs to be extinguished.  They help you to fall further into an abyss.  Never reminding you that there is hope.  I won’t say that it is their intention, but likely they don’t know enough to send you down the right path.  But, someone who seeks to live in truth and light will often be more likely to try to lift you out of your “sunken place”, instead of contribute to it.  Find you some folks like that.  That I can guarantee, you will not regret.

FAITH IS LIKE WI-FI,  IT HAS THE POWER TO CONNECT YOU TO WHAT YOU NEED.

 

Reflecting on 2017

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2017 has come and gone.  Another year that has flown by, the kids are older, a few more gray hairs showing up and trying to stay and few more dreams realized and a few laid by the wayside.  As with every year, there have been ups and downs, but the beginning of the year has me reflecting back on all that 2017 had to offer.

lessons in 2017

I can’t exactly explain why, but I feel like 2017 was a year of real vulnerability for me.  I literally felt like I was walking around with all my nerve endings exposed.  I think I spent a good part of the year, wondering why that was, and then the other portion of the year trying to accept it.   According to one of my favorite authors Brene Brown, “Daring greatly means the courage to BE VULNERABLE.  It means to show up and be seen. To ask for what you need.  To talk about your feelings. To have the hard conversations.”  And, truthfully, these were all things that I tried to do in 2017 and it is something I plan to bring forward into 2018.  I will tell you that no matter the outcome, inserting vulnerability into your life tends to lesson the speculation.  If  you know what you want, go after it and don’t receive it, well then you know you tried.  If you tell someone what is expected of them, and they fail to meet your expectations, there is no more wondering if maybe they aren’t getting it. You know and so do they.

on a personal front

  • I now have a 21 year old and a 13 year old.  Geez… (Ok, maybe don’t tell anyone else that.  They will figure out just how old I am lol.)
  • i jumped head first into learning how to cook more low carb food options for myself and my family.
  • i maintained a great A1C , for the entire year.
  • We redesigned our 13 year old daughter’s room, to make it more fitting for a young lady.
  • Oooh… and I managed to total my car, just three days after it was paid off (head banging).

on a business front

  • Our Etsy Store hit 536 Etsy Sales.
  • Our NOLA poster became our Highest Selling Item.
  • Posters in General were the Highest Selling Category in the Store  for 2017.
  • We Added Physical Invitations to Our Shop.
  • We Made A Lot of Updates to the Blog.
  • Leaned Into Being An “Influencer”  on our Social Media Platforms.  By the way, are following us? (Links Above)

my favorite books from 2017

  • The Monkey On My Back by Debbi Morgan
  • Big Magic Elizabeth Gilbert
  • Remembering Whitney by Cissy Houston
  • Milk and Honey Rupi Kaur  **** (A Must Read)

As we embark upon our next adventure, the year 2018.  Always Remember, “Time is at once the most valuable and the most perishable of all our possessions.” – John Randolph

Mommy Hears and Understands

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Mommy Hears and Understands

May is Better Hearing and Speech Month. Each May, BHSM, provides an opportunity to raise awareness about communication disorders and the role of the American Speech – Language – Hearing Association in providing life-altering treatments. The theme for this year is “Communication, The Key to Connection.”   I am sure like most people, this month probably has little significance to you.  And up until my eldest daughter was born, it had little significance to me either.  However, in October of 2004, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, with all her fingers and all her toes.  She was perfect in my eyes.  She was more than even my wildest dreams could have conjured up.  She was all sugar and spice rolled into one.  As she grew older, like any parents we anxiously anticipated her first words.  Every mother longs for the day when they hear the words Momma cross their little ones lips.   But, those sweet words would be delayed.  Obviously concerned with the delay, we spoke to her pediatrician and she agreed that our daughter needed to be evaluated by a Speech Language Pathologist.  The tests that were needed were difficult at best for a small child, who was terrified of strangers.  It was a trying time.

After some time, she was diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder.  Honestly, they might as well have told me that she had Astronaut’s Disease, because I had no idea what it meant, and or what it entailed.  I consider myself to be pretty bright, but even after they explained it to me, I was still grasping at straws.  If I were to give you a layman’s description of what it is, it would go a little something like this, how she hears and processes sound is different than you and I.  Even with the diagnosis,  I had no idea what lay ahead of us.  At the age of 2, she was assigned her very first Speech Language Pathologist. We could not have known what a significant role her SLP would play in her developmental progress.  She was able to relate to her as her therapist and on an interpersonal level.  Pulling her out of her shell, and getting her to be open up and  try new things was key. She started to attend Speech Therapy twice a week for an hour, and slowly her vocabulary began to grow.  We finally were able to hear and understand her.  But, it was no easy feat.    Learning to pronounce and enunciate her words was difficult for her.  After a while we could understand her, and those that were around her frequently could understand her but it was still hard for a stranger to pick up on what she was saying.

As the years went by, she continued to make progress.  When it was time for her to begin Kindergarten, we let the school know immediately about her speech delay, and provided them with her diagnosis and all the necessary documentation.  Soon into her first year it was evident that she was struggling.  As you know, Speech, Communication and Comprehension are huge components of the educational process.  It literally was hindering every part of her experience and it was heartbreaking.  With the help of an exceptional team, by the first grade she had a functioning IEP (Individualized Education Program).  For the second time, a new SLP was introduced into our lives.  And again, what she brought to the table made ALL the difference in the progress that my daughter would make. The SLP would sit with the teachers to see what they were teaching and how she could help.  She would incorporate the lessons being taught into their daily sessions.  To say she went above and beyond, is a drastic understatement.  She was able to pick up on her moods, her strengths and her weaknesses and she nurtured her in a way that I can not explain.    God knew exactly what we needed to make it through the journey.  And, when it was time for her to retire I was devastated.  I was truly sad to see her go and I was not sure how the change would affect the progress that we had already made.  But, she made the transition seemless and we went from one blessing to another.

The greatest blessing in this test for us, as a family and for our daughter has been receiving Speech Therapy.   We have been extremely blessed to have been paired with SLPs who have become more than what there jobs required, but true friends.  I always say that the way to any parent’s heart is through their children.  It is not often that you run across educators who have a genuine love and concern for your child.    Now, I am coming at this from the Speech side of things, simply because that is where our diagnosis took us.  But, Auditory and Speech issues affect children all across the board.  As is the case with most disabilities, early detection is very important.  There are many programs available to you, if you feel that you child could be struggling in this area.  If you think your child may be struggling with Speech and or Hearing Issues, check out this website, which is full of useful information and resources.

If our journey, that we are still on, has taught me anything it is this, it truly takes a village.  And, we could not be more thankful for ours.  Every Journey will be different, as no individual is the same.  Want to know more about Auditory Processing Disorders?  Here is the first book I read about it at the start of our journey.

“INDIVIDUAL COMMITMENT TO A GROUP EFFORT – THAT IS WHAT MAKES A TEAM WORK, A COMPANY WORK, A SOCIETY WORK, A CIVILIZATION WORK.” – VINCE LOMBARDI

It’s Teacher Appreciation Week!!

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Teacher Appreciation Week - Free Printable Teacher Gift Tags

It’s National Teacher Appreciation Week!!  A week to celebrate one of the most noble professions out there.  I have always been in awe of teachers.  It truly takes a special kind of person to invest in the lives of  children, who are not their own over and over again.  That is exactly why I always try to make a big deal out of this week.  For their time dedication and devotion to my babies, I am extremely grateful.  There are so many great ideas all over Pinterest for Teacher Appreciation Gift Ideas.   If you are looking for some ideas, be sure to check out our Pinterest Board.  No matter what you choose as your gift,  these Super Cute Gift Tags are a sweet addition.  Grab yours today!!

My oldest child is 20 years old, so , I have see my share of teachers over the years, enough to know that having a good teacher in your child’s life is a blessing.  My middle child has some auditory processing challenges and having an amazing team has made all the difference in her progress through out the years.  My baby girl is just in the 1st grade but we’ve been  pretty lucky there, as well.  I tend to hold my little ones a little tight.  So it makes me breathe a little easier just knowing that these kind of teachers still exist.

Teacher Appreciation Week Tag Supplies Free Printable

To Download your Own Copy of the Printable Teacher Gift Tags Click Here.

“IT IS THE SUPREME ART OF THE TEACHER TO AWAKEN JOY IN CREATIVE EXPRESSION AND KNOWLEDGE.” -ALBERT EINSTEIN

Meet The Author: Tanya Armstrong

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A Little About Tanya:  I have known Tanya since I was 13 years old.   And, NO … I am not about to tell you how long we have been friends. But, lets just say that we have had the pleasure of being part of each other’s journey.  As a friend, it was particularly hard for me to watch Tanya experience any kind of pain.  But, if ever I have met someone whose life is a testimony, it would be her.  She maintained a buoyant spirit, because she knew, even in the thick of it,  that In God’s Hands Intended Evil becomes Eventual Good.  Her story is one of perseverance, triumph, and strength.  And, I am proud of her for sharing her story and her truth.  I sincerely hope that you will run out and her purchase her book, The Moment I Decided to Own It. (Follow the link to purchase on Amazon)

When did you know in your heart that it was time for you to move on?

When the tone in his voice changed. We used to speak and you could hear that he cared and loved me and then one day I realized there was absolutely no love in his voice.  It was cold and direct and I realized that I no longer possessed his heart

What signs did you see or that you now recognize in retrospect?

The signs had always been there. The lying was there, the cheating was there but I became so comfortable in my dysfunction or dysfunctional marriage that I chose not to leave.  I chose to act as if it were out of sight out of mind to keep my sanity, because my former husband was either deployed a lot while in the military or working as a contractor overseas for the last 10 years of our marriage.

What convinced you to turn your trial into a testimony and essentially a victory?

This book started  off as a conversation between myself and a very close friend. I was telling her about some of the difficulties and frustration that I was feeling while going through my divorce and dealing with my soon-to-be ex husband. And she said, girl you need to write a book because nobody would really believe everything that you’ve been through.  I proceeded to tell her nobody wants to really hear my story and she said yes they do. So on a Sunday night two years ago I started to write

Was the process of writing the book healing for you?

Definitely!! While writing this book I had to revisit some very painful moments and instead of just tucking them away as if they never existed, I had to truly deal with them.  Looking at my pain face to face and not backing down. I had to rip off Band-Aids and shed a lot of tears, but after I did that my soul started to heal.

Explain how you felt when the book was complete?

That final moment when the book was completed I truly felt accomplished. I had that AHA moment. I thought that this baby that I was carrying for the last two years was finally here.

Advice for wives?  Advice for young ladies starting out in a relationship?

The advice that I have for wives is don’t become complacent with your heart don’t allow other people to take that precious gift that you’re offering to them for granted. The advice that I have for young ladies is never settle.  If you are unhappy in your present situation,  do not allow yourself to feel that this is the best you can get.  And ALWAYS trust your gut instincts.  If I had trusted my own 20 years ago my life could’ve been very different. But, please don’t misunderstand, I do not regret any of the decisions that I made because as a product of that union, I have five magnificent beautiful children.

Favorite Quote from The Moment I Decided to Own It:

“I have to get through today, to get to tomorrow, because tomorrow has to be better than today.”

Favorite Book : I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

Favorite Author:  Maya  Angelou

Favorite Quote or Motto: When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. – Maya Angelou –

You can find Tanya all over Social Media ↓ :

On Facebook On Twitter On Instagram

or On Her Website

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7 Things Every Parent Should Know

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7 Things Every Parent Should Know - www.stage-presents.com

  1.  Every child is different.  I think sometimes we base our parenting styles and decisions on how things worked the first time around, or how our parent’s raised us. I have three children and they couldn’t be more different.  Growing up, I remember thinking that my sister had it so much easier, because I had already gone through all of the hard things.  And, that my mom favored her over me, which.. well I am still not sure that isn’t entirely true, lol.  But… now that I have children of my own I know that what worked for one of them wouldn’t necessarily work for the other.
  2. There is no such thing as the perfect parent.  Even though it is what we all aspire to be, we would save ourselves so much time right out of the gate, by acknowledging from the very beginning that we are human, and therefore flawed. There will be times when you have to say you are sorry.  You will not always be right.  You are charged with shaping these little lives that have been entrusted to you, but try as you might you can’t mold them into your own image.  (Trust me I’ve tried, lol)
  3. Quality and Quantity.  I know you probably thought I was going to say  Quality over Quantity.  But Nope.  Here’s is my reasoning you are probably never going to be able to please everyone see #1.  And, even though you will most likely try to find things that everyone is interested in and or try to give them as much one on one time, as possible.  That simply may not be the way that they remember it.  So do you best to spend as much time as you can, whenever you can.  And hope that it is enough.
  4. Routine. Routine is the key to any well oiled machine.  Bed times, chores, expectations, etc.  As I mentioned before, I thought my parents were too strict.  But, the thing about it is that looking back I see now that knowing what was expected of me and how I was to conduct myself played a large part in shaping me.  I can see now that a lot of the heartache that my friends went through I was lucky enough not to have experienced, because I simply didn’t live that life.
  5. Enjoy it.  I will be the first one to tell you that parenthood is NO WALK IN THE PARK.   You love your babies and you can’t imagine life without them.  But, sometimes you do.  You imagine what it would be like to pull your hands through you hair, throw on some bright red lipstick and skinny jeans and just jump in the car heading off to God knows where and for God knows what reason.  But, you know those days are over.  So once you are back from your pity party.  Make sure to enjoy these days.  One day you will miss it.  Since my oldest is 20 and my youngest is 6, I have a unique vantage point.  I can see the other side while still in the trenches.
  6. Document your days.  This is a controversial one for some people, because if you are snapping pictures then maybe you aren’t present.  I guess I have mixed feelings about this, because I see things from behind a lens that I am not sure I would notice otherwise.  Or maybe it’s that the things that I see make me want to pull out my camera to preserve the memory.  Like taking my daughters to the beach last year, and watching their faces so go from fear, to fun, to frolicking.  It was amazing to sit there and watch them grow before my eyes.  To me, it’s equally amazing to look back on those pictures and remember that day with joy in my heart.  I think I have always taken a lot of pictures, but when my son was little there were no iPhone’s and such, so there are way less pics of him than of the girls, and it is one of my biggest regrets.
  7. We Time and Me Time are a necessity.  Before they came, it was just the two of you.  And, before you became the two of you, it was just you.  Every relationship needs cultivation, even the ones we have with ourselves.  And, I believe this with all my heart.  If you are depleted at some time in some way, it is going to come out.  I am lucky enough to have my parents close by and when I need a break they are more than happy to afford us that luxury.  But, even if you don’t have a support system close by, little things mean a lot.  Can you both get off work for a couple of hours while the kids are at school, for lunch or for a movie or both?  Can you schedule a babysitter, and make a night of it?  Or maybe you just need the peace and quiet, or solitude of a massage, or mani-pedi appointment.  Figure out what feeds your spirit and your soul and do that, make time for that.

“TODAY’S LITTLE MOMENTS,  BECOME TOMORROW’S PRECIOUS MEMORIES.”

End of Year Review

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2016-a-year-in-review

It is the last day of 2016, and I for one am glad to see it go.  2016 has been the most tumultuous year I have experienced in my 40 years.  It has literally been filled with the lowest lows and the highest highs,  a perpetual roller coaster of emotions, blessings and disappointments.

We entered into 2017 full of hope and vision.  And, as seems to be the norm at this stage of my life the days quickly turn into months and the months into years.  This is something that most Moms tend to be cognizant of as you watch your babies speed through their younger years. And, believe it or not with a business it is not much different.  I sit back a little awe struck at times, as I watch it develop in new ways.  The most minute changes can garner the most significant rewards.

On the Business/Blog Side of Things:

We started off the new year by re-branding.  Even though we loved our original logo, we wanted a new logo that we felt represented where we were going as a company. I assume that this can be a fairly easy project for larger companies who hire out this type of work.  But, we decided to do it ourselves, or I should say my hubby did it.  And, since we both have the perfectionist gene getting on the same wave length was a bit harder than we thought.  But, ultimately we were both pleased with the finished product.

TheStagepresentsBlog got its own Instagram Page. Having another account separate from the one we already had for our Etsy Store allowed me to share more of myself, my family and my daily life with all my Stage Presents friends.  It also gave me a chance to connect with other like minded bloggers.

Our Etsy Store hit 400 + Sales and officially passed the 3 year mark.

Our Back to School Binder Covers went viral.

Increased our Social Media presence and Developed relationships with other bloggers

Collaborated with other bloggers to present the Friday Favorites Linky Party.

We had some amazing Guest Bloggers.

2016-highlights

“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery–isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.”
― Charles Bukowski, Factotum

On the Personal side of Things:

Life dealt more blows than I would like to remember in 2016.  Only months into the New Year, my toddler niece got very sick and passed away.  It is something that I honestly don’t know if I will ever truly understand. The only thing worst than experiencing that loss, was watching my baby sister go through it.  As a big sister, you never want to think that there is something that you just can not help your younger sister with or through.  But, I had to accept that this was something that we could only call on God to help and heal.   Then some months later, I had a health scare that consisted of  a spider bite and my blood sugar being way too high, that landed me in the hospital.  Though terrifying, it turned out to be exactly what I needed to get my act together as far as eating what I should eat, instead of what I wanted to eat.  This year, I also started subbing at the School System for longer periods of time.  I got a quick refresher course on just what a balancing  act it was to work full time hours and still juggle being Mommy and Wife, Blogger, Etsy Shop Owner, Cook, Taxi…  The flip side to that was being able to do more of the things we wanted to do as a family with more money coming into the household, and having a little more to invest back into our business.

“It’s so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.”
― John Steinbeck, The Winter of Our Discontent

The pain makes us change. The change makes us grow, and finally the growth makes us strong.

FOR WHATEVER REASON, THESE BOOKS HELPED ME OUT THIS YEAR.

Favorite Books:

Why We Can’t Wait by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Fervent by Priscilla Shirer

Make it Happen by Lara Casey

2016 has been a year of growth for the business and for the blog and it is with bated breath that I wait to take in all that 2017 has to offer.  We are humbled by the support of our readers, our customers, and our community.  We acknowledge that without you we couldn’t have come this far.  As we end this year, and venture into the new one keep these words in mind.

THROUGH ADVERSITY, NOT ONLY ARE WE GIVEN AN OPPORTUNITY TO DISCOVER OUR INNER STRENGTH, WE ARE ALSO GIVEN THE  GIFT OF FORESIGHT SO WE CAN SHINE A LIGHT FOR OTHERS WHO GO THROUGH THE EXPERIENCE AFTER US. — RACHAEL BERMINGHAM

Book Review: The Year of Yes

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I am a hard critic.  It takes a lot for me to be impressed with pretty much anything.  But, every now and then I run across something, watch a movie or read something that speaks to me on so many different levels.  This was this case with this book.  For me it encapsulated so much of what it is to be a woman, a mother, a creative, and a dreamer.  At parts it even hurt to acknowledge and admit some of the truths that it laid out.

This is the first book review that I have written here on the SP Blog.  Mostly because I never want to stop anyone from forming their own opinions or thwart their resolve to read any book, because I think that what you take away from every book you read can be such a singular experience.  But, I really wanted to share with you some of the things that spoke to me from this book.  And the reason for that is that we, (women), are complex beings and I think that in being caretakers and nurturers we sometimes lose sight of the fact that we are multi-dimensional.  A good amount of the time we adopt societies way of minimizing our feelings or chalking it up to being emotional or hormones, or whatever.

I know for me the older I get, the more I realize that when I feel cornered or stifled it is more than likely because of a box that I created for myself.  Not based on my feelings thoughts and aspirations, but based on what I think I should be.  I am a lover of spoken word, quotes, etc.  So it should come as no surprise that my favorite parts of this book, came from some of the Speeches that she gave.  In her Dartmouth Commencement Speech, Shonda (Yes, Shonda like I know her she could be “my bff” in my head) talked about the The Dreamer vs. Doer.  I swear I wanted to post pages and pages here instead of just a short excerpt, because I swear she was SCREAMING directly into my soul when she wrote these words.

“Maybe you know exactly what you dream of being.  Or maybe you’re paralyzed because you have no idea what your passion is.  The truth is it, doesn’t matter.  You don’t have to know.  You just have to keep moving forward.  You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to try something new…. Don’t sit at home waiting for the magic dream opportunity.  Who are you Prince William? No.  Get A job.  Work.  Do until you can do something else.”

Being a Creative Person while exhilarating, can be paralyzing.  Why?  Because you have a million thoughts going through your head at any time.  You dreams span from your garage to your international business and everything in between.  Often that great a dream, can be suffocating.  Not knowing what steps need to be taken can stop you dead in your tracks.  And, you forget that you can just take that first step.  It’s like me with exercising, as long as I am doing it consistently, I remember how good I feel afterwards and all the great effects that it has on my health and blood sugar.  But, let me get too many days in between, the aches creep in and my bed or the sofa seems like a much more gratifying option.  Our Etsy Store started out with pillows, I tell this story all the time.  And, now we have over 270 items available in our store.  It was a project that my husband and I could work on together.   So many people told me you don’t want to work with your husband, and not that it hasn’t come with its own set of challenges.  But, it has being a profitable venture, gave me an outlet for my creativity and drive and it’s been good for my marriage.

Then she talks about Balance.  And, God did I need to hear this one.  “ANYONE THAT TELLS YOU THEY ARE DOING IT ALL PERFECTLY IS A LIAR.”  Remember earlier, when I told you that I was a hard critic.  The person that I am hardest on is….. MYSELF.  I can’t sit on the couch and not think about all the things that I am not be doing.  Now, I am not saying that to say that I always get all these things done.  But, I am saying that they haunt me.  Now I will tell you straight up, I got this from my Momma.  But, she is clearly more adept than me, because she actually gets it done.  You can come to my mom’s house day and night and what you will walk right into is A Stepford Wife kitchen.  I know I just finished saying that I know I can’t do it all, and I do.  But, I still aspire to be that chick.  But, it’s true aside from the fact that there are only so many hours in the day.  Achieving balance is damn near impossible.

There is soo much more than I could share about this book, but I don’t want to give the whole thing away.  And, I don’t think I have any more library renewals left on this one.  But, I will say this.  It is worth the read.  I think we often look at celebrities, or writers, or politicians and believe that these people have it all together.  And, I am sure most of them have it more together than I do.  But, this book genuinely reminds me that we are all HUMAN, prone to err, fear, and a multitude of other emotions.  I will definitely be purchasing this book, because it bears re-reading or at the very least to be used as a reference tool.  If you happen to grab it and enjoy it.  Leave your comments below, I would love to hear what spoke to you.

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Shonda Rhimes Glowing from the Inside Out

Our Differences are What Make us Stronger.

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In these uncertain times that we live in, I have often wondered if I could  change something in my world what would it be?  And, I am always brought back to to the same thing.  I wish that I could rid my world of hate and all of its byproducts, bigotry, racism, terrorism, crime, division, etc.   I am often floored by the fact that a country that was built on the premise of being a Melting Pot, despises those people who make it so.

Remembering Our Differences Are What Makes Us Stronger

The quote on the Statue of Liberty reads:

“Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she
With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Quote by Emma Lazarus

These words grace the Statue that stands on Liberty Island in the New York Harbor.  They were meant to be welcoming to the masses.  This country was founded on the backs of immigrants and slaves.  People that came from all walks of life.  Our differences were supposed to be what made us better as a nation, what set us apart.  Most people who willingly migrated to this country did so with the hopes of finding religious freedom, a better opportunity, pursuing a new dream. With all of these noble intentions, I wonder how we got so far away from what was originally intended.

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I cry for my children who even though they are growing up in the 21st century still live in a world crippled by enmity.  I cry for their futures, because even though we have come a long way.  We really haven’t come as far as you would think.

This blog has been sitting in my pending queue for some time now. But, I know that no matter how hard I try to write words that are politically correct, I will most likely still offend someone here.  But, being quiet has never really been my way, for that matter, neither has being PC.  That being said I just hope that someone, somewhere, will read my words and have pause.

For me,  my wishes and my dreams still mirror to this day, that of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., I hope that  “…my children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”  And, not by their assumed character but by the mental and moral qualities distinctive to them.

“IT IS NOT OUR DIFFERENCES THAT DIVIDE US.  IT IS OUR INABILITY TO RECOGNIZE, ACCEPT AND CELEBRATE THOSE DIFFERENCES.” – AUDRE LORDE