They say confession is good for the soul.  So here is my confession.  For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with my time versus others time.  Even in my relationship with God.  When I want something I want it RIGHT NOW!!  I took comfort in the fact that this seemed to be the norm for my generation. After all, we were the first ones to really take advantage of sperm donors, surrogates and even instant Kraft Mac and Cheese.  You know the one  just individual consumption.

My mom always tells me that The Lord will keep putting certain things in my path until I learn how to effectively deal with it.  I have to say, I ALWAYS frown when she says that.  I mean really who wants to hear that.  That falls under the category of if you exercise more and eat better, you will lose weight…. NO… REALLY.

To that end, I was gifted with a child who could care less about my time.  Or anyone else’s for that matter she is sloooooooooowwwwwwww.  Even when she’s motivated she is still, say it with me,  sllllooow.  

This morning, my devotion read: August 6, 2014:  Maintain vitality in spiritual reality, and refuse to get stuck in the issues of life.  This is a time when you need to rise above emotional responses and all things that keep you in bondage, says the Lord.  It is My desire that you walk in freedom in all things.  Systematically extricate yourself from everything that opposes and prevents your complete liberty.  Proverbs 4:23 Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life.

So as I felt myself getting heated this morning with her slowing around, I was immediately brought back to those words.  And, then as I was making her lunch and trying to bring myself down, so that I could be the patient loving Mom she deserves, I also remembered two devotions that I read yesterday from Daily Wisdom for Women 2013 Devotional Collection.

I will just take two small excerpts.  The first read. – “There are no hopeless situations; there are only people who have grown hopeless around them.”  God weaves a life of tapestry for each of us; when we focus on the knotted thread, we don’t see any beauty.    The second one read – Sincere love clings to what is good.  Sincere love always protects.  It is always patient and kind.  It always seeks to bring honor to others.  Sincere love always builds up and never tears down.

There are some days when my God Whispers are more like screams for me to come back and find my refuge in him.  After I dropped her off at school, I was in the car on my way to the grocery store and the song Running back to you by Commissioned came on…

Some of the words —

“How can you forgive me, when I’ve often gone astray? How can you think of me, when I do things my way?  Turning my back from you, the one who loved me first, having my own desires, renewing worldly thirsts.  You told me you loved me and I should make up my mind.  You tell me come back now, but I keep wasting time.  Feeling so very week, you say I can be strong.  I feel I’ve gone too far, you tell me to come home… you love me still.  And, I know this is real… and I am running back to you, I see you are standing there for me.  You arms are open wide, and I don’t have to cry no more.  Your standing there for me and I am running back to you.  Why do I go away, when I know I am no good when I am on my own.”

I struggle with being easily frustrated and aggravated.  Whether its the kids, or my coworkers or just life in general.  In 2014, I said I would make a conscious  effort to keep my mind stayed on him, and not allow the things of this world to take such a toll on me.  Needless to say half way through the year, I am still needing constant reminders(just like my baby girl).  Thank God, I serve a God who is way more patient than I am.

Still a Work in Progress….

As, I am sure you noticed by now, you can find me more on Facebook and Instagram these days.  It will probably be like that through the summer month’s since I am playing Mommy Taxi.  The summer is already flying by.  I can’t believe that it has been almost a month since the kids have been out of school.  And, next week my 9 year old, starts Extended School Year.  We have been trying to pack in as much fun as we can.  And, this Momma is tired.  We finished a crafting project we have been working on for a little while.  It started out as a paint project, and we, or I never followed through on the last part of it.  So, the girls were super excited to finally have their own Barrette and Clip Holders. We also went to Washington Farms, and tried our hands at Strawberry Picking.  I am soo not an outdoors person, but we loved it and had an amazing time.

After Strawberry picking 2 gallons worth of strawberries, we had a lot left over, so we made Strawberry Lemonade using Laylita’s Recipe, with a tweak here or there.

My Tweeks:  The recipe calls for 2 lemons, but we added 2 more lemons (or you can use lemon juice – if you prefer.)  The recipe calls for honey or sugar as a sweetener, but feel free to use Splenda, or whatever other sugar substitute you desire.  The straining is a little time consuming, but it is worth the time.  Lastly, its the perfect mixture to add to a more grown up concoction!! To top it all off we garnished it with Fresh Peppermint from our Garden.

Hope you all are having a great time as well, I’d love to hear about all the fun things going on over at your house this summer.

What’s on The Soundtrack to your life? For as long as I can remember, even as a little child music has literally carried me from one stage of my life to the next. It has helped me to grieve, heal and even triumph. Sometimes I feel like it was even God’s way of speaking to me, when I refused to hear his voice any other way.

When my now nine year old started school we employed a “Theme Song”, of sorts, I read that it would help transition her into her day. And, it did, even on days when she didn’t feel like going to school. It seemed to calm her spirit.  Now, at nine, she has a love for music that parallels my own.

Some mornings when I need a little more than my beloved cup of coffee to start my day, I need a little Earth Wind and Fire to get me in gear.

Or when I need some motivation for the day  I need a little Go Get It by Mary Mary

And, when I need some help to get moving while Exercising… I still love Upgrade Me by Beyonce…

What songs move you like no other??

Photo Credit:

Nothing that anyone says, Mom included, prepares you for family life.

We all watched those scenes in “Brown Sugar”, one of my favorite Urban Classics, where Nicole Ari Parker and Taye Diggs work around each other in the kitchen with their perfectly coiffed hair and custom made suits as they head off to their perfect jobs in their perfect worlds.  And, even though that was a close to perfection as they got in that movie.   I remember looking forward to making my hubby breakfast, and also to being served breakfast in bed.  And, even though we had our share of Just the Two of Us moments, fast forward 5 years and the landscape of our lives have changed immensely. [To be fair — they had no children.]

That huge bathroom with the garden tub, that was oh so “spa like”,  is now reminiscent of a scene out of Romper Room.  I mean, duh, everyone knows that a Garden Tub is the ideal place to give your little one’s a bath.  The Perfect Master Bedroom with the sitting room, has become the Master Bedroom with my Pseudo Office, as well as my Toddler’s new Abode, where her Toddler Bed has made its permanent home. [Mind you, home girl has the biggest bedroom in the house outside of ours, with all her own perfect furniture, and walk in closet.]

The Dining Room Set that I dreamed of sits proudly in my Dining Room, set to “NINES”, and no one ever eats there, except on Holidays and Special Occasions.  And, sometimes, shhh…. don’t tell anyone it has fabric on it.(hey, it makes a perfect stage for Instagram Pics, lol).

The Formal Living Room with my white leather couch, that no one sits on.  Has become the backdrop for all the pillows in our Etsy Store.  As well as a Pillow Warehouse, who knew the room could have so many uses.

The most frequented rooms in the house aside from our bedrooms are the Family Room and the Kitchen.  I guess that’s a good thing, since when we are in those rooms we are generally all together…

So does the Reality in any way Mirror the Dream… not even a little bit.  That being said, would I change a thing?  As a matter of fact, I would,  I have a constant laundry list of things (running in my head) of things I would change and do this way or that.  But, the fact of the matter  is that we are immensely blessed.   Could I use Weekly Date Nights? Yep. Could I use a Full Time Cook, who could make Diabetes Friendly Three Course Meals?  Yep. Could I use more Spa Days, and time with my girls(not the little ones), sure who couldn’t but…..

C’est La Vie!!